I feel fortunate to have been born into the Blackaby family. We are far from perfect, but we did some things well. My four siblings and I watched our parents willingly complete the difficult assignments God gave them. I observed God working powerfully through ordinary people. I didn’t just hear my parents talk about experiencing God; I watched them do it. As a result, all five Blackaby children became fervent Christians, published authors, and international speakers. Many people have told me they envy my family and wish they had grown up in one that had such strong Christian values.
But there is another side to the story! Things weren’t always rosy at Blackaby Manor. We grew up in Canada and often lived within sight of the poverty line. My dad was away a lot. The five of us kids didn’t always get along. We had arguments and even the occasional knock-down, drag-out fist fight (sometimes over who got the last piece of dessert!). It wasn’t always pretty. My siblings and I have a wide array of personalities, skill sets, and temperaments. We don’t see eye to eye on every issue. But we are a family. When one of us is in need, we know the others have our back. When my dad was recently diagnosed with pneumonia, the family mobilized. The other day, when someone criticized me on social media, one of my brothers stormed to my defense like a Navy Seal! Winston Churchill once said that the only thing worse than working with allies was working without them. His statement applies to families.
I have been called out by family members when I was not behaving as I should. At other times, I have confronted someone in my family who was not acting properly. These interactions are not a sign of a dysfunctional family. Just the opposite! Healthy families address their issues in a loving, honest manner and then move on.
I see a parallel dynamic occurring within churches and denominations today. Churches, as well as denominations, are fundamentally families. They consist of people who are united by common factors. When the major spiritual milestones of your life have occurred in the same denomination, it is common to experience a sense of belonging and commitment to that denominational family.
But loyalty to denominations is declining dramatically, and many people are becoming increasingly critical of churches. I believe when it comes to critiquing your own denomination or church, there are two important principles to keep in mind.
- Helpful, biblical, gracious critiques are necessary to keep churches and denominations healthy and vigorous.
As with any healthy family, denominations ought to hold themselves accountable. Revivals throughout history have often arisen in response to a prophetic word addressing the Church’s shortcomings. Churches and denominations that turn a deaf ear to constructive feedback will soon become distracted, disengaged, and defeated. Just like healthy families, denominations ought to foster robust discussions about areas of weakness or ineffectiveness.
One of the great pleasures I have in my ministry is speaking to many different denominations across America and around the world. I have thoroughly enjoyed experiencing the delightful diversity within the kingdom of God. Some of my dearest friends and ministry partners belong to a different denomination than I do. Nevertheless, I have been a Southern Baptist all my life. Throughout history, my denomination has done some things well, such as focusing on evangelism and missions, which partially explains why it is the largest Protestant denomination in North America. But it has also fallen short in several areas. I know. I earned my Ph.D. studying Baptist history.
The question is, how do we deal with the issues in our denomination? Do we sweep problems under the rug so our denomination doesn’t get a black eye in public? Or do we leave our denomination in search of one that gets it right?
At the recent Southern Baptist Convention in Birmingham, denominational leaders sought to address issues such as sexual abuse and racism in a straightforward and honest way. Some people bemoaned the fact that the SBC was departing from its Gospel focus to address ethical and social concerns. While the Gospel is the SBC’s primary focus, the apostle Paul was quick to urge the church to address any issue that might cause people to stumble on their way to the Gospel. The Church is called to be salt that preserves society by its Christ-like behavior and witness. We need not only to proclaim the Gospel, but to live the Gospel!
Some denominations have become so consumed with social issues that they neglect heavenly matters, which is clearly a mistake. But it is never wrong for God’s people to address sin in their own camp. Likewise, people who conduct their lives above reproach are better able to share the Gospel. I have witnessed many times what happens when denominations and churches fail to acknowledge their mistakes, so I am happy to belong to a denomination that is aware of its shortcomings and tries to correct them.
- Denominations are family and should not be abandoned easily.
It’s common knowledge that people are no longer loyal to denominational “brands.” People join whichever local church best services them. Likewise, it is becoming popular fare to condemn the shortcomings of denominations and churches publicly. I read recently of some church leaders who left the denomination of their childhood because they disagreed with one point in the statement of faith it adopted. They claimed that there was no longer any room for them in their denominational tent. Now, there are certainly valid reasons to abandon a denomination. If it rejects the authority of Scripture or the deity of Christ, it no longer deserves loyalty. If it calls activities righteous that God calls sin, it is time to consider finding a different denomination.
Nevertheless, I am seeing people leave their denominations due to less critical issues. At times, the point of contention is merely a difference of opinion or emphasis. Some difficult passages or teachings in the Bible could legitimately be interpreted in more than one way. You don’t have to leave your denomination simply because it votes for something you think is wrong. When a denomination or church is making bad decisions, it needs its biblically oriented members to draw closer, not abandon ship.
I am always a little amused by those who claim they were “forced” out of their denomination. Those individuals have typically chosen to leave. Rarely were they asked to leave. But in today’s age there is little to no tolerance for opposing views. People might agree with you on nineteen key issues, but if they disagree with you on the twentieth, you feel compelled to break fellowship with them. While taking such a dramatic action appears to demonstrate a strong conviction to principles, it is at times nothing more than an unwillingness to tolerate an opinion that is different from your own.
I have also found that leaving a denomination rarely makes that denomination more orthodox. Your ability to change a denomination is in direct proportion to how engaged you are with it. Writing angry blog posts and noisily leaving the denomination of your childhood seldom, if ever, makes a positive difference.
I believe denominations are like families. For those of us who have grown up in a denomination, we ought not to abandon it too quickly. I became a Christian, was baptized, felt called into ministry, met my wife, and was married in Southern Baptist churches. I was given my first opportunities to minister and made life-long friends in Southern Baptist churches. I’m not saying there is nothing my denomination could do that would make me sever ties with it. But it would take a lot.
At times, my denomination gets blasted by the secular media for something it has done or allegedly done. People have asked me how I can remain loyal to a group of churches that behaves in such a way. I typically respond that God placed me in this denomination as a child. It has nurtured and encouraged me all my life. Though it is far from perfect, its influence on my life has been far more positive than negative. So I choose to remain a member of that family. Being a Baby Boomer, I embrace the mantra of my generation, “If you’re not a part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.”
I didn’t write this to make light of people’s concerns. I realize that certain issues are complex, and people have strong feelings about them. I affirm the desire to keep denominations true to Scripture. I applaud those courageous enough to say hard things when necessary to keep the Church healthy. I also recognize that there are times when churches or entire denominations lose their moorings to Scripture and begin turning people away from the truth. In such cases, choosing to find a more biblical, God-honoring denominational family is certainly valid.
I write simply to suggest that we do not have to go storming off if a vote doesn’t go our way or if certain changes don’t happen within our desired time frame. If God has placed you in a family, refuse to give up on it, always wish the best for it, and do all you can to bless it. After all, that’s what families do.
