Ben Sasse, The Vanishing American Adult: Our Coming of Age Crisis and How to Rebuild a Culture of Self-Reliance. New York: St. Martin’s Griffin, 2017. 305 pages. (aff)
Sasse states, “I believe our nation is in the midst of a collective coming of age without parallel in our history. We are living in an America of perpetual adolescence. Our kids simply don’t know what an adult is anymore—or how to become one” (2). He laments, “Our kids are not ready for the world they are soon going to inherit” (7). Of his and his wife’s goal for their children, he submits, “Melissa and I want them to arrive at adulthood as fully formed, vivacious, appealing, resilient, self-reliant, problem-solving souls who see themselves as called to love and serve their neighbor” (8).
Sasse lays out the problem as he sees it for Millennials and Gen Z. He cites statistics that youth today suffer greater obesity and are more medicated than ever before (37). He notes that the average American male will play 14,000 hours of video games by the age of 21 (39). Also, for the first time in 150 years, people between the ages of 18-34 are more likely to live with their parents than in their own home with a spouse or partner (40). The average age of a newlywed couple is now 28, six years older than it was in 1950 (41).
Sasse points out that young people increasingly have difficulty making decisions. They are interested in socialism, though they only vaguely understand its tenets. Microaggressions have become the rage, and young people live in fear of words or people who might offend them (45). He notes that there is no longer a clear demarcation for becoming an adult. He argues that society used to have certain cues that indicated a youth had entered adulthood, but those lines are blurred today. With the proliferation of media and the Internet, young people are inundated with information and stimulation, but they don’t necessarily possess the maturity or understanding to handle it.
Sasse argues that the American school system is broken. Children from other nations routinely outperform American schoolchildren academically. He argues that greater government spending on education has shown no correlation to better outcomes. Yet he worries educational bureaucrats will simply throw more money at the problem and insist that students spend even longer hours at school. Sasse and his wife homeschool their children, and he argues that it is unnatural to segregate children into same age groupings all day or to expect that sitting in a classroom adequately prepares children for life.
Sasse purports that there are five ways to cultivate character-building habits in children:
- Discover the body.
- Develop a work ethic.
- Embrace limited consumption
- Learn how to travel and to travel light.
- Learn how to read and decide how to read.
Sasse offers many interesting suggestions for how to prepare children for life. He relates how he sent his 14-year-old daughter to work on a cattle ranch for six weeks. Many parents later asked him how they could do the same thing with their children, because they feared their children did not know how to work and that they had been “bubble wrapped” all their lives.
Sasse also lists some interesting statistics that show that Millennials openly admit to enjoying materialism and purchasing things. Yet he cites studies that clearly indicate that happiness does not come from possessions. In fact, Americans, though more affluent than ever before, claim to be much less happy than they were fifty years ago (164). He notes that studies indicate that the four greatest sources of happiness are faith, family, community, and work. (153).
Sasse makes some interesting assertions about travel. He notes that travel is different than tourism (181). He offers a few suggestions about letting children exercise independence in travel that might be a stretch for some parents. Yet I liked his practical suggestions on intentionally developing children’s sense of independence and work ethic as early as age two.
I was also intrigued by Sasse’s suggestion of intentionally exposing children to classic literature. He shares the reading list he developed for his children to complete before they leave home. I wouldn’t use his exact list (he didn’t include any works of history), but it made me think about which books I would suggest. His primary point is to help children develop a love for reading and a breadth of reading that exposes them to great thinkers.
Overall, I thought this book was well worth the read, especially for parents who are still rearing their children. Sasse doesn’t hide his convictions as a Republican and a Christian. Nevertheless, he tries not to be political or partisan, but rather pragmatic. It is encouraging to know that someone with this mindset is currently serving in the US senate. As I was reading this book, Sasse was taking his fellow senators to task in the debate about allowing newborn babies to die if the mother felt that keeping the child was a hardship. His voice of reason is desperately needed in the political realm today.
My three adult children, son-in-law, and I have a book club. We discussed this book at our last meeting. Overall, we enjoyed it. We might all take issue with some points, but we agree that today’s youth will experience enormous challenges if they are not better prepared to face the decisions and issues that await them. Certainly, it is a wake-up call for parents to be intentional in preparing their children for the future.
I’d recommend this book! Sasse has also recently written another highly relevant book: Them: Why We Hate Each Other—and How to Heal, which I reviewed previously. You can find that review here.
Rating: 3
