Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, Rare Leadership: 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead (affiliate link). Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2016. 228 pages.
I found this book interesting, and I read a lot of books on leadership. Marcus Warner has a pastoral background, and Jim Wilder holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology. He previously wrote the book Life Model: Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You. Together they look at what they term RARE leadership. They believe “the relationship is more important than the problem” (14). They suggest that most leaders are trained in left-brain problem solving but are undertrained in right-brain relationship building.
The authors begin by stating that “Most of these leadership challenges have less to do with strategic planning than the ability to handle difficult relationships and upsetting emotions” (11). One of the keys to successful leadership is maturity. They conclude the book by stating, “. . . we have found that nothing is more predictive of leadership effectiveness than personal maturity” (193).
The authors argue that too many of today’s leaders strive to solve problems and achieve results at all costs. This approach often leads to disaster in the workplace. They note, “Knocking down the barriers to get results comes easily to you. But figuring out how to develop a deep and lasting culture that furthers and deepens your organization’s mission while building its capacities is a challenge” (14).
They argue that “If relationships are the root of joy, and joy is the jet fuel of high-performing teams, it follows that learning to remain relational is a key factor in creating high-performing teams and building healthy churches and organizations” (15).
In this book, they examine brain science and explain how management is guided by the dominant left side of the brain, but the right side controls relationships and identity. They unpack some of the science behind this dichotomy and explain its implications for leadership. They note that “. . . recent developments in brain science now reveal that leadership skills are learned in a different way and in a different area of the brain than management skills and academic studies” (19).
In the book, they outline four habits that characterize RARE leaders:
- Remain Relational
- Act Like Yourself
- Return to Joy
- Endure Hardships Well
The authors quote Chris Shaw, who claimed, “Leadership has become heavily influenced by managerial models, so that the term ‘lead’ has come to mean organizational skills rather than people skills’” (20). The authors argue that leadership is fundamentally a people business, and good leaders must be adept at bringing out the best in people.
The authors then discuss brain science. Some of this section gets fairly technical, but the authors make an interesting point. They claim “The brain uses a ‘fast track’ process for relational leadership skills and a very different ‘slow track’ process for management skills. The ‘fast track’ operates at speeds above the level of conscious thought and primarily governs relational reality” (20-21). They argue that things like “intuition” run on the fast track. It seems like intuition because our mind is processing faster than we consciously realize. They explain, “We call it intuition because our mind figures things out before we are consciously aware that our brain has been figuring” (23).
The authors argue that many pastors have limited people skills. They assume they can lead from the platform, but they are employing their left brain, not their right brain (21). The authors caution that many leaders “mistakenly assume that understanding an idea is enough to make it a reality in our lives” (23). Many pastors and leaders write books on areas of life in which they ultimately experience disastrous personal failure.
The authors emphasize the power of joy, which they define as “. . . a delight in our relationships with God and others” (24). They add, “We might say that leadership travels at the speed of joy” (24). They offer several important truths concerning joy. First, the fast track section of the brain is motivated to learn by joy (24). Second, people with emotional intelligence and relational skills always create joy around them. Third, leadership skills do not transfer from one person to another in the absence of joy.
The authors point out that the fast track section of the brain operates faster than conscious thought (26). Its primary job is relational reality. It regulates our emotions and helps us remember who we are. It’s our “identity center” (27). The fast track part of our brain can recognize someone’s face rapidly (28). The slow track then processes information about the person and develops a plan on how to interact. The slow track follows the lead of the fast track portion of the brain (29). The authors claim we must train the fast track portion of our brain. They also note that habits “live” in the white matter of the brain (29). White matter runs up to 200 times faster than gray matter (29). For that reason, once habits are formed, they can help us think and act rapidly. They note, “Understanding white matter helps us appreciate why habits are so important. They go into operation before our conscious thought engages” (30).
The authors observe that “Burnout is typical of organizations led by results-oriented, problem-solving leaders. These leaders have a well-trained management brain, but often lack a well-trained relational brain” (33). Of course, getting results and solving problems is good. But focusing on those goals can have negative consequences if we neglect the crucial task of healthily engaging with people. The authors note, “Great leaders continue improving and diversifying everyone’s relational skills” (35).
The authors claim that “Sandbox leaders are grownups in positions of responsibility whose lack of emotional maturity creates catastrophic consequences for their unsuspecting followers” (41). They suggest that “For leaders, problems are almost always ‘people problems’ and leadership skill involves transforming the way people participate” (43). Again, they are not suggesting that striving for results is bad. But if leaders are entirely results-driven, the emotional wheels will eventually come off their organizational wagon, and they will no longer be able to sustain or achieve results in the long run. Emotionally healthy organizations achieve results year-in and year-out.
The authors point out that both fear and joy can drive our identity (50). Yet joy is a far more powerful and lasting driver. They claim that “From the bottom to the top, the brain is a joy-seeking machine and seeks joy above every human experience” (51). As a result, they argue that “. . . rather than relying on accountability groups to change behavior, we recommend identity groups” (53).
Interestingly, the authors claim that God interacts with us in the fast track section of our brain, the non-verbal area, “at a level that is deeper than words alone can reach” (55). When we act in accordance with our true identity and not merely out of fear of losing our job or being called out for poor performance, “. . .we release maximum creativity and the energy needed to solve these problems” (59). The authors provide various examples of dysfunctional organizations that became paralyzed by fear and were unable to solve their mounting problems. They argue, however, that “Joy is a renewable energy source that the brain is wired to prefer” (64). They state, “The conclusion of this new science is that relational joy is the natural means of growing a strong, resilient mind” (65).
The authors caution that “When leaders begin to be swayed by who is going to get upset, they are surrendering their guidance to the most emotionally unstable person in the group” (80). Leaders have two primary goals: 1) get results; 2) build group identity (89). The authors argue that if leaders focus on developing a healthy culture that encourages people to be true to their identity, joy will emerge and results will inevitably follow.
I liked their definition of “kindness,” which is “shared joy” (132). They encourage leaders to learn to identify and encourage people’s true self. They note that “RARE leaders excel at this. They are really good at seeing Jesus in others and waking up that part of a person’s heart” (142).
The authors claim that “. . . your identity always comes from belonging to a group” (144). They also point out that “. . . all too often we define ourselves by our dysfunctions and shortcomings. When we forget who we are, we need someone to remind us of how it is like our people to act” (144). They present an interesting picture of leaders who remind people who they are and who their organization is.
The book addresses three kinds of people: Protectors, Possums, and Predators. The authors argue that people are naturally hardwired to be predators. We can sniff out other people’s weaknesses. Predators exploit those weaknesses. Leaders must learn how to be protectors of their people and their organizations. The authors point out that “We wear masks to make ourselves look stronger” (149). When an organization is filled with people wearing masks, it becomes a toxic workplace.
The authors include another interesting discussion on maturity. They list five levels of maturity: 1) infant maturity. 2) child maturity. 3) adult maturity. 4) parent maturity. 5) elder maturity (179). I thought this section offered a helpful depiction of the different levels of maturity among leaders. We innately understand that a key to effective leadership is maturity. Too often the wheels come off when leaders face crises because they do not have the maturity to wisely guide people through the storm. The authors rightly claim, “Mature leadership is needed now more than ever” (191).
They cite an interesting quote from a Dale Carnegie training course: “Practice doesn’t make perfect. Practice makes permanent” (184). That is, for something to become a habit, we must practice it until it is lodged in the white matter of our brains.
They conclude by presenting their overall thesis: “RARE leaders remain relational, act like themselves, return to joy, and endure hardships well” (202).
I found this book interesting. I haven’t read many leadership books that encourage joy and claim it has been scientifically proven to be effective. Some of the science is hard to follow at times. But their point is that there are scientific reasons why certain kinds of leadership are more effective than others. They also make a valid point that today’s leadership approaches tend to overemphasize results, which leads to unhealthy relationships.
The authors offer hope that new habits can be formed and dysfunctional cultures can be transformed. They also underscore that only mature leaders can encourage those changes. I appreciated the emphasis on both identity and joy. Who wouldn’t want to work for an organization that brings out their true self and is permeated with joy? While some books like this can seem unrealistic or utopian, this one was written by people who have been in the trenches and who know the underlying science.
A CEO friend of mine recommended this book. I’m glad I read it. I think you’ll benefit from reading it too.
Rating: 3
