Ryan Holiday, Ego Is the Enemy. (aff.) New York: Portofino, Penguin Books, 2016. 226 pages.
This book is thought provoking and highly practical. My friend Cheryl Bachelder recommended it, and when she makes suggestions, I pay attention! Ryan Holiday begins the book by sharing his own journey and why the subject matter is important to him. But then he steps away from personal storytelling and draws on history and wisdom literature to undergird his thesis. I enjoyed this approach. Sometimes authors have a profound life experience and then write a book as if their experience, whether it be suffering bankruptcy, divorce, or a breakdown, is everyone’s inevitable destiny. By removing his personal story from center stage, Holiday lets history make his case rather than relying on his own limited life experience. But it is interesting that Holiday has “ego is the enemy” tattooed on his right forearm (xxiii). Clearly, this message resonates with him!
Holiday notes that there are four stages of ego: 1) aspiration, 2) success, 3) failure, 4) back again (xix). He claims, “There is no one moment that changes a person. There are many” (xx). He notes that “Precisely what makes us so promising as thinkers, doers, creatives, and entrepreneurs, what drives us to the top of these fields, makes us vulnerable to the darker side of the psyche” (1).
Holiday defines ego as “an unhealthy belief in our own importance. Arrogance. Self-centered ambition” (2). Holiday warns that “Ego inhibits true success by preventing a direct and honest connection to the world around us” (3). He suggests that “When we remove ego, we’re left with what is real” (8). He adds, “Now, more than ever, our culture fans the flames of our ego” (4). He notes that, at any point in time, people are in one of the stages of ego he outlines (5). He concedes that there are outliers, such as Steve Jobs, who have a huge ego and still manage to be successful. But Holiday argues Jobs’ ego did not make him successful, but rather his success stemmed from the times he reined his ego in long enough to use his considerable abilities (7). This point is debatable, as it is never the best argument to suggest that data that contradicts a theory is an outlier. But Holiday makes a good point.
Throughout this book, Holiday pushes against common views and practices. I enjoy this type of book. I also enjoy authors who make extensive use of history! Of course, when using history, and especially when citing current leaders, examples can be challenged. Holiday offers an interesting discussion of General Sherman during the Civil War (17). Sherman was urged to seek political office as one of the most popular and successful war leaders. He declined. This story provides a good example of keeping ego in check. Of course, Sherman, like all leaders, had feet of clay. He was known as a womanizer during the Civil War, which suggests he did not always keep his ego in check!
Holiday also cites Bill Belichick, coach of the New England Patriots, as an example of someone who kept his ego in check (55). Again, at least in his early career, the example is compelling. But in later years, many people would claim that the coach is not the model of humility! Holiday also cites Angela Merkel as a good example. Of course, she has many admirable qualities. But she also has her critics. As someone who likes to cite examples from history, I recognize the complexities of giving specific examples, and I acknowledge that Holiday is not suggesting that these people are without faults.
Holiday offers a number of insights that are worth careful reflection. He suggests that there is a danger in talking too much and acting too little (27). He notes, “The only relationship between work and chatter is that one kills the other” (28).
Holiday quotes Frederick Douglas, who said, “A man is worked on by what he works on” (33). He also claims that the pretense of knowledge is our most dangerous vice (39). He cites Epictus, who claimed that “You can’t learn if you think you already know” (41). He later quotes an old saying that claims that “When student is ready, the teacher appears” (43). I like Holiday’s statement that “Opportunities are not usually deep, virgin pools that require courage and boldness to dive in to, but instead are obscured, dusted over, blocked by various forms of resistance” (46).
Holiday includes an interesting discussion on the Segway, which was supposed to be a huge new breakthrough (47). He demonstrates how we can be blind to reality. He notes that “Passion typically masks weakness” (48). He also states, “Clear a path for the people above you and you will eventually create a path for yourself” (53). Holiday strikes against those who portray great leaders as people who were driven by passion and refused to yield to others or listen to naysayers. I liked his discussion of Jackie Robinson and was encouraged to purchase a biography on him (59). I also liked the statement, “Say little, do much” (56). Holiday claims, “When you want to do something—something big and important and meaningful—you will be subjected to treatment ranging from indifference to outright sabotage. Count on it” (63).
Holiday offers plenty of sage advice in these pages. He includes a great section on “Get out of your own head” (68). He also claims that “We tend to think that ego equals confidence” (69). Clearly great leaders need confidence. But Holiday is careful to distinguish confidence from ego, which he castigates as a negative quality. I think this clarification is helpful.
Holiday quotes Bill Bradley as saying, “When you are not practicing, remember, someone somewhere is practicing, and when you meet him he will win” (82). He challenges the popular mantra, “Fake it till you make it” (83). He suggests, instead, “Make it so you don’t have to fake it” (83).
Holiday uses Howard Hughes as an example of a talented person who was shipwrecked by ego (93). He asks, “Can you handle success? Or will it be the worst thing that ever happened to you?” (100).
Holiday includes an interesting study on Bill Walsh, who turned around the San Francisco Fortyniners (107). He suggests that great success does not always begin with a grand vision but with an attention to small details. Holiday also states, “We think ‘yes’ will let us accomplish more, when in reality it prevents exactly what we seek. All of us waste precious life doing things we don’t like, to prove ourselves to people we don’t respect, and to get things we don’t want” (116).
Holiday also includes an interesting study of John DeLorean (178). He states, “He was a genius. Sadly, that’s rarely enough” (178). I like Holiday’s quote, “Yes—in the end, we all face becoming the adult supervision we originally rebelled against” (129). I also appreciated his quote of soccer coach Tony Adams, who urged, “Play for the name on the front of the jersey and they’ll remember the name on the back” (137). I liked the quote from James Basford, who said, “It requires a strong constitution to withstand repeated attacks of prosperity” (148).
Holiday makes plenty of great statements. He notes, “These are just the facts of life. Who can afford to add denial to all that?” (152). He writes, “Just because you did something once, doesn’t mean you’ll be able to do it successfully forever” (153). Holiday also quotes Bill Walsh, who claimed, “Almost always, your road to victory goes through a place called ‘failure’” (165). Additionally, he quotes Plutarch, who said, The future bears upon each one of us with all the hazard of the unknown” (168).
I liked his example of Diogenes, the impoverished philosopher, who, when Alexander the Great stood over him and asked what he could do for him, replied, “Stop blocking my sun” (179). A great story!
Finally, I appreciated the quote Holiday included from Benjamin Franklin, “Those who drink to the bottom of the cup must expect to meet with some dregs” (208).
I glad I read this book. The author’s passion for his subject matter is evident, and he addresses an issue that is important for everyone, and especially for leaders. It is also a subject that is rarely discussed and certainly not given a full book-length treatment. I enjoyed Holiday’s style and use of history. In fact, I loved his references to Seneca and realized I had never read anything by him. I forthwith ordered a book by him and am halfway through it already.
Reading this book will not only give you an edge in business. It will help you become more self-aware. And if you heed its teachings, it might save you enormous pain and regret as well. I recommend this book as it was recommended to me. Don’t let an illustration or example put you off from the enormously valuable insight that ego is an enemy to us all and has brought down many great leaders in the past. Better to address ego now than to confront it in the midst of the shambles of a once-promising career.
Rating: 4
