I try to familiarize myself with influential writers, and this book and author could not be ignored. Jordan Peterson has become a juggernaut in the world of modern thought. He has a unique story as well. He grew up in Fairview, Alberta, Canada, and became a professor at Harvard before moving to Toronto to teach. I have been to Fairview, so I understand what a leap it must have been for him to go from there to Harvard! Peterson is clearly brilliant, but he apparently has as many detractors as he has enthusiastic fans.
As a psychologist, Peterson draws heavily on psychoanalysts like Freud and Jung, as well as on archetypes, ancient myths, and classic literature. He is also an evolutionist who believes religions evolved from the collective memories of people who sought to find meaning amid chaos. If you are offended by evolutionist views, this book may not be for you. But Peterson, in an unassuming Canadian dialect, fearlessly and humorously delves into common issues of humanity using a practical approach that provides plenty of food for thought. The book’s very title, “12 Rules . . .” is countercultural in an age when people do not want to be confined by rules. Yet many of Peterson’s readers are finding his practical guidance enlightening.
This book is more than 400 pages long, so I won’t attempt to summarize it. I’ll simply highlight a few quotes that stuck out to me. While I do not agree with everything he writes, especially in the realm of religion, I find his writing thought-provoking, and I can certainly see why he is attracting such a large and appreciative following, as well as many angry detractors!
Each of Peterson’s rules is eye-catching. Rule One states, “Stand Up Straight with Your Shoulders Back” (1). One principle Peterson constantly preaches is that people are not merely victims. They have the power and freedom to choose their behavior. In this chapter, he uses the analogy of lobsters to encourage people to face their life boldly and to take positive steps toward the future. He notes, “Dominance hierarchies are older than trees . . .” (14). Rather than bemoaning their oppressed or difficult lives, he argues that people can make the best of their situation. He suggests, “To stand up straight with your shoulders back is to accept the terrible responsibility of life with eyes wide open” (27).
Regarding Rule 2, “Treat Yourself like Someone You Are Responsible for Helping,” Peterson notes that people are often more attentive to their pets than to themselves (33). He encourages people to take full responsibility for themselves. He notes that the world is divided between chaos and order. We cannot simply play it safe with the known. We must have one foot in the known and the other exploring the unknown. He asks parents, “Do you want to make your children safe or strong?” (47).
Rule 4 states, “Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday, not to Who Someone Else Is Today.” Peterson constantly preaches that equal outcomes for everyone is impossible (86). He is rabidly against socialism. He argues that there will always be people who are better than you at something. The key is not to compare yourself to them but to the person you are becoming. Interestingly, he claims, “When you have something to say, silence is a lie” (91). He also states, “We only see what we aim for” and “What do you know about yourself? You are, on the one hand, the most complex thing in the universe, and on the other, someone who can’t even set the clock on your microwave. Don’t overestimate your self-knowledge” (101, 109).
I enjoyed his discussion of Rule 5: “Do Not Let Your Children Do Anything That Makes You Dislike Them” (113). He offers some interesting parenting advice. He notes, “Our society faces the increasing call to deconstruct its stabilizing traditions to include smaller numbers of people who do not or will not fit into the categories upon which even our perceptions are based. That is not a good thing. Each person’s private trouble cannot be solved by a social revolution” (118). He adds, “There is a catastrophe lurking at the extremes of every moral continuum” (119). He goes on to say, “But more often than not, modern parents are simply paralyzed by the fear they will no longer be liked or even loved by their children if they chastise them for any reason” (123). Interestingly, he adds, “Two year olds, statistically speaking, are the most violent people” (126). Peterson offers many controversial but thought-provoking insights. He suggests, “If a child has not learned how to behave properly by the age of four, it will forever be difficult for him or her to make friends” (135). Peterson encourages parents to be “proxies” for the real world (143). He claims, “It is the primary duty of parents to make their children socially desirable” (143). He warns that if you are not properly disciplining your child, “you’re leaving the dirty work to someone else who will be much dirtier doing it” (141).
Rule 8 states, “Tell the Truth; Or at least Don’t Lie” (203). He claims that “untruth corrupts the soul” (215). He states, “It is deceit that makes people miserable beyond what they can bear” (221). He also claims, “All people serve their ambition. In that matter, there are no atheists. There are only people who know, and don’t know, what God they serve” (224-225). He adds, “To tell the truth is to bring the most habitable reality into Being. Truth builds edifices that can stand a thousand years” (230).
Rule 9 is “Assume that the Person You Are Listening to Might Know Something You Don’t” (233). He claims that listening is paying attention (233). He suggests that the past appears to be fixed, but it isn’t (237). He adds, “There’s an awful lot to the past, after all, and the way we organize it can be subject to drastic revision” (237). He notes, “People think they think, but it’s not true. It’s mostly self-criticism that passes for thinking. True thinking is rare—just like true listening” (241). He also states, “People organize their brain for conversation. If they don’t have anyone to tell their story to, they lose their minds” (250).
Peterson draws on a host of psychological data and studies to discuss, scientifically, what people experience. He refuses to be swayed by political correctness. For example, he does not condemn single mothers, but he also lists a host of data to demonstrate that children who grow up in such homes face significantly more problems than do children who grow up in two-parent homes (301-302). Peterson also urges what he calls “precision in speech” (259). He seeks to rely on data, not feelings or vague opinions. This approach has annoyed countless liberals in debates, because he hurls facts at them to show that he isn’t a bigot or chauvinist but simply following the data.
If Peterson were merely a brilliant scientist, he would be respected. But his deftness with words, practicality, and humor has built his following. He states, “There is little in a marriage, that is so little that it is not worth fighting about” (272). “If you don’t know where you are, precisely, then you could be anywhere” (282). And, “Beware of single cause interpretations—and beware the people who purvey them” (311).
Peterson is sometimes accused of being an impassionate, cold-hearted scientist who doesn’t care about the oppressed. But in the chapter about Rule 12, “Pet a Cat When You Encounter One on the Street,” he tells the story of his daughter Mikhaila who spent much of her childhood suffering (335). Peterson pulls back the scientific veil and allows the reader to see him as an ordinary father desperately trying to find answers for his beloved child. He reveals himself as someone who is on his own journey to find truth and meaning in a world that is often characterized by chaos and suffering. He recognizes the ineffectiveness of easy, simplistic, or generic answers.
This book is worth reading. At times, it seems as though Peterson’s brilliant mind is racing off to discuss Russian novelists, Greek philosophers, or German psychoanalysts. But then he inevitably lands on a true human dilemma. While he may not give a clear answer to every problem, he offers some fresh and courageous perspectives.
Peterson’s approach to life and its problems is clearly secular. Christian readers will recognize that, at times, Peterson describes symptoms and problems without prescribing the full remedy. Nevertheless, millions of people are seeking life advice from Peterson today, and his influence is worth noting.
Rating: 4
